Falsely Accusing God of Being Your Dad by Christie Lee Rayburn
Many kids have had a great relationship with their dad, and many kids have had a painful relationship with their dad. But all kids take the template of that father/child relationship and, regardless of whether they are aware, apply it to their new relationship with the Heavenly Father.
That primary, “growing up” relationship with our father creates a powerful imprinting upon our hearts, whether it was positive or negative. That imprint becomes our unspoken expectation that we subconsciously transfer to our faith-based relationship. If the transfer has been all positive, it paves the way for an open relationship with your Heavenly Father. You come to God with an almost pre-established trust to build upon. You feel safe with your new spiritual relationship and anticipate growing closer.
However, if your imprint has negative components, then you have transferred invisible stumbling blocks to your new relationship with God - probably without even realizing it. You have baggage before you even begin. You have silent judgments and preconceived notions of your Heavenly Father that aren’t based on anything experiential but are carried over from your past template with your earthly dad.
In essence, without being aware, we are falsely accusing God of being our dad. This isn’t fair to Him, and it isn’t fair to us either.
NOT FAIR TO GOD
When your dad didn’t fulfill his responsibility as a father in a positive and loving way, why should Abba God be held responsible for the way he mistreated or neglected you? Why should the Almighty be pre-judged according to a man? Why should He be limited and put in a box? The truth is He shouldn’t be liable for any of these things. God desires to be known for Himself - not to be assumed. He tells us in Hosea to “press on to know Him” and in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah that “He delights in being known and understood.” He gave us His Word, the Bible, in order to know who He is and what His character is like. He wants an intimate relationship with each of us that is based on His Truth, not our past.
NOT FAIR TO US
We behave according to Who we believe our God to be. If we have false beliefs then we are involved in false behaviors. We could be adding unnecessary rules to God’s love or trying to impress Him - both are exhausting and erroneous. We could be avoiding closeness to God based on misconceptions and end up missing out on an incredible depth of soul satisfaction. this is not only unfair, but also tragic.
EXAMPLES OF FALSE ACCUSATIONS
Have you been guilty of any of these?
Absent Father - Child obsesses with trying to understand dad’s reasons, blames himself, or struggles to earn dad’s acceptance. This person comes to God with a need to perform or to earn the love of God. This person might feel like he/she will never be good enough and could have a false sense of sacrifice.
Distant Father - Child feels unworthy of affection or love and seeks it in outside sources - unhealthy relationships, addictions, trouble.
This person comes to God with a desire to keep his/her relationship at arm’s length. Not trusting that God can fill the empty places in his/her heart, this person continues to seek outside things to fill the inner voids.
Abusive Father - Child identifies himself as a victim and tends to grow up seeking relationships in which he/she can continue to be the victim, the rescuer, or the abuser.
This person comes to God with a lack of trust, an immediate draw to steer away from God as a Father and see Him as a distant Creator. This child might feel like God could strike out or change His disposition at any moment.
Critical Father - Child yearns for closeness but usually gives up on it. Child believes that he/she can’t “win” and doesn’t feel liked. This person comes to God seeing Him primarily as a Judge - a judge that usually declares ‘guilty’.
This person feels defeated easily and doesn’t understand how to develop intimacy with God.
Pampering Father - Child learns to control others through charm or temper. Child lacks self-control and a sense of personal competence. This person comes to God resisting the idea of any discipline and feels entitled to instant closeness with God. This person struggles with growth towards maturity and can easily pick and choose Scripture to justify his/her choices.
THE TRUE GOD
Let’s learn from our past relationship with our dads, but let’s get to know God for who He claims to be. Let’s discover what brings Him joy and what He cannot tolerate. Let’s learn His names that reveal His attributes and priorities. Let’s develop a closeness that is based on how God deals with His children and the inheritance we have been given. This is a unique relationship with the only Heavenly Father.
Please don’t continue to falsely accuse God of being your dad. Take the time to search your heart. You cannot claim ignorance any longer!
Tell me how you see God as your Father. What have you carried over from your relationship with your dad unknowingly? I’d love to hear. You may be surprised that you are not alone in this!
Sockeye2 said... Louie Giglio also did a great sermon on this topic. You can get a print version of it for your community group at the following website:
