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SPECIFIC WAYS TO MINISTER TO SINGLE-PARENT KIDS 1. Spend one-on-one time with them. They need this individualized attention from an adult because they’ve been put on hold during their parents’ separation/divorce. Both extrovert and shy, withdrawn children will respond to your investment of time. 2. Give them positive attention. Because these kids are “love hungry,” they will seek attention in whatever way they can get it. Find jobs for them that will give you time for personal interaction and help them get attention in a positive way. Compliment their efforts so they’ll feel effective and useful. 3. Know their family background. Being a child of divorce doesn’t give a license to misbehavior. However, leaders knowing the family background could avoid most behavioral problems in a structured setting. You can’t help someone you don’t know. 4. Acknowledge their emotions. Give kids an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Be nonjudgmental and don’t fee that you have to come up with answers. Just let these children know that you care and are willing to listen. Offer to pray with them, and talk about forgiveness when it is appropriate. 5. Get them in touch with other single-parent kids. By getting kids together who have similar problems, you encourage empathy instead of sympathy. Kids respond well to knowing that they aren’t the only ones who feel that way. 6. Make appropriate referrals when needed. Don’t try to be superhuman! When reactions seem overly severe or children reveal issues – abuse or addictions – that are beyond your ability to provide help, try to involve a qualified trained professional. 7. Be a big brother/sister to the family. It’s hard to be two parents in one, so offer to give the parent a break. Plan activities as a group first; it will provide a non-threatening atmosphere for the kids to build positive relationships with a Christian adult role model. But be careful to screen those wanting to be involved. The last thing these kids need is for someone else to hurt them. 8. Provide resources for the parents. Begin a resource network for singleparent and blended families. There are plenty of needs, including food, clothing, finances, house repairs, car repairs, lawn work, child care, and emotional support. This task requires someone to coordinate resources within your network and then distribute the information out to those who are in need. Most of these parents won’t come and ask for help even though it is sorely needed. 9. Be a helper, not a rescuer. The tendency for anyone involved in helping those who are hurting is to rescue them from their pain. This rescuer role must be guarded if you truly want to help these kids. Authentic change can only happen when a person makes good use of your resources and help by being willing to make things different.
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