“Boys need to be building things, working with tools,” I said to my friend Stephanie. I had a daughter, eight years old, and two sons seven and five. She had two sons in the same age range.            

“Ha,” Stephanie laughed. “And what can we do about that?” she challenged with that mischievous expression she had when an idea was brewing. Stephanie had come out of a seriously abusive marriage. She was from England and had met challenges courageously all her life.         

Her Powerful Choleric personality, though suppressed in her marriage, was in full bloom as a single mother with a job as a home health care nurse.

“Didn’t you say you needed a dog house for the puppy?” she asked.            

“Yes,” I replied, “the kids hate to leave her outside and I don’t want her in the house.”          

“Well, we could help them build a dog house.”            

“Stephanie!” I retaliated. Her ideas often seemed too out of range for my practical way of thinking. “How can we do that? We would need saws and lumber. We can’t manage all that.” I was the undisciplined and unorganized Sanguine.      

“They sell kits for people like us,” her British accent was coming through.

“They, who?” I wanted to know.         

Well, Stephanie persisted as any good Choleric would and we did find a dog house building kit at a local home improvement store. It included precut pieces, with nails, and roofing shingles. We set a date for construction.

As a Popular Sanguine I insisted the work day must be fun. Stephanie, the Powerful Choleric had a plan. Together we made memories as well as a dog house. It was a great success and the dog house was painted, repainted and re-roofed numerous times over the years. It became a symbol and memento of a day none of us would forget.

My inspiring and playful Sanguine memories changed only slightly after reviewing the day with my now thirty something children. Damon, my eldest son, had the clearest recall of the day. He pointed out that single moms should consider carefully the tools used for such a project. Don’t use a tack hammer for roofing nails. Don’t give more than one kid a paint brush and lay down plastic if you have them painting over the grass. Finally consider the weight of the finished project. We had to have someone lift and haul the doghouse home.  

Creating memories may seem like too much to think about when you are wondering how you will get all the laundry done, meals on the table, and pay the bills. One such memorable event may require weeks of planning and even budgeting, but it is worth it

“Used with permission of Gail Cawley Showalter, Founder
SMORE for Women www.smoreforwomen.org
www.seeinguthrough.wordpress.com .  All rights reserved.”