Single Parent FamilyLife - Brutal Honesty

Brutal Honesty
By Jennifer Maggio

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In my nearly 15 years of parenting, I have made some grave mistakes. I have screamed and thrown temper tantrums probably more than my own children, at times.

I think back to my 7 years of parenting alone. I was a scared, young teenager and had no idea how to take care of a baby. "Someone should still be taking care of me," I often thought. But that wasn't the case and I was left with no choice, but to learn to cook, clean, prepare diaper bags for the daycare, sing lullabies, and so on.

I was tired, financially broken, emotionally ruined, and felt I couldn't go on. I took out my frustration on my children. When my son was only 4 years old, I was sick of going through the single parenting journey---sick of no one understanding how little money I had, how I could never get ahead, sick of not knowing where my boyfriend was, and having no help. My little son came to me and was quite whiney one afternoon. Before I knew it, I had slapped him across his little face and blood came spewing from his nose. I had busted my four-year-old's nose. What had I done?! I was a terrible parent. I hated myself for all my inadequacies, for my failure as a mom, for the fact that my children didn't have the life they deserved. And now.....this!

How can I admit that to you now? Because I am totally and completely free. I am free of the feelings of guilt. I am living in the freedom that only Christ can offer. Sure, I messed up. I blew it. And there will be days when you do, too. But God's mercy and grace will be right there to catch you.

Somehow, through the myriad of bad decisions and mistakes, I sit here and think of my now 14 -year-old son. I think of how well he has turned out. I praise God for his hand over our lives. My son is a gifted athlete in three sports and an honor roll student. He gave his life to Christ at seven years old. He is sold out for the cause of Christ, is a leader in his school, and an active servant in our church. I could give an equal report on all my children.

Many nights, I spent hours on my knees praying-- praying for peace in my home, praying for God to help us, and praying over my children for them to be wise with their decisions. We are not to the end of our journey yet. But I want to encourage you that the mistakes I made as a parent didn't "ruin" my children. And many of you need to hear that. Many of you have felt guilt rise up in you over a past mistake. Do not allow those feelings to hold you captive any longer. Your desire to seek after your Heavenly Father will keep your children safe.

I have been confident enough through the years to apologize to my children many times and they have turned out to be wonderful, God-fearing, obedient children.

I am no longer a financially destitute single mom. I am a happily married wife and mother of three. But I would not trade one second of those tough, almost unbearable years. Why? Because I may never been able to witness first-hand one of God's mighty miracles – the transformation of my own life.

Many years have passed now and we have recently made a commitment to be more intentional about having a "family devotion". I gather the children around the kitchen table (14 years old, 13 years old, and 3 years old). They all bring their Bibles and we read Scripture, just a few. And then, I ask them simple questions about what we have read. The three year old gets very simple questions about where God lives and what he made, while the older ones get other questions. We have prayer request time and each child prays. There is no greater blessing than to hear your children praise their Heavenly Father.

I received an especially sweet treat this morning. My three year old and I were awake before the rest of the family and she climbed into my lap. She began to hug me and tell me that I was the "bestest mommy in the whole world." She, then, asked, "Mommy, can we have our Bible time soon?" Priceless.

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