Single Parent FamilyLife - A grip on grief How to help children cope with loss

Two Bad Dreams
By Moe Becnel

I seldom have a dream that I remember. I have bad dreams even less. But I have had two bad dreams in three nights.

The First Dream
My first dream was that I was playing with powerful fireworks called M-80’s. We used to buy them many years ago, but they are now an illegal class of fireworks. I dropped an M-80 down a hole and it exploded. Suddenly I see a body burning several feet away. I look and find Belle (our 80-pound, ½ Labrador/ ½ Golden retriever dog) on fire – she was still moving, but all of her hair was badly singed. I woke up --- thank God!

My Second Dream
In my second dream, Jordan (my son) and I were held hostage by a family who lived by a body of water. In the family, there was one daughter who was very aggressive --- to the point that her entire family feared her. She ran the family and their hostage mission, and she carried a gun. Jordan and I were not hurt, but we were emotionally drained and very fearful. We did not know what they wanted, and I was certain they would kill us.

One of her brothers (who apparently had become our ally) placed a gun where we could get it. There was no clip in the gun and no bullets, so Jordan and I started searching a desk for bullets and the clip that holds the bullets. We found a clip and four bullets, but I kept searching for more --- I WANTED A LOT OF BULLETS! Suddenly, I felt impressed that we only needed a few bullets, so I quit searching.

In the next scene, I am in the driver’s seat of a truck and Jordan is with me. Jordan loads the gun and puts it in my right hand. The aggressive daughter walks up to the truck and begins to speak to us, but she is distracted by a brother and she begins to argue with him. She is pointing the gun at him – then at me – then at him. In a quick reflex, I raise the gun to the truck window and pulled the trigger ---- the hammer only clicks. The daughter and I just stared at each other for a moment.

Then I realized there is no bullet in the chamber because I had not cocked the gun. I quickly cocked the gun and fired 4 bullets into her forehead. A strange thing happens (as if this whole dream is not strange) --- each bullet goes into her, but the wound immediately seals up. There is no wound and no blood. She is just looking at me. I pulled the trigger one more time, but of course there is only a click --- no more bullets. I am waiting for her to raise her gun and shoot me. Then she falls to the ground. I woke up --- thank you Jesus!

In thinking about these two dreams, I began to draw some parallels to our lives on this earth.

Harm in Our Lives
From the 1st dream, I see that many people involve themselves in things (the powerful fireworks) that are harmful to them and their loved ones, but they are either unaware of the potential harm, or they think they have it all under control. The following scripture comes to mind:

Proverbs 14: 12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

Consider those people who think divorce is easier than living with, loving and working things out with their spouse. The divorce creates hurting family members (my dog is a real part of our family) for years to come.

We often hurt the ones we are closest to. In the dream, I was not only grieving and feeling responsible for my wounded dog (who I had wounded through my stupidity), but I was thinking of Paige’s reaction when I brought our singed, suffering family dog home. It was not going to be “pretty.” (I was really glad when I woke up.)

Many become slaves to drugs, alcohol, pornography, immorality, and the like. These have devastating impacts on our marriages and families. We think we can handle it - or hide it, but sooner or later our loved ones become hurt by our selfishness and irresponsibility. And when we wake up each day, the reality hits us again and again.

Ability to Overcome
The 2nd dream shows our ability to be an overcomer of our circumstances.
The aggressive daughter can be compared to our adversary, the devil, who is looking for opportunities to steal, to kill, and to destroy.

John 10:10 reads, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;”

He wants to destroy our families, and cause us and our children to live in fear, defeat, and hopelessness.

In the dream, Jordan and I were slaves to this family. We had no rights. We lived in fear and hopelessness. Our lives were completely in their hands.

But then an ally showed up! He gave us an option (a gun)! Most of all, he gave us hope!

Isn’t that just what God does for His children!!! God is always there for us to provide us just what we need, and He does it in such a supernatural way! Through the Holy Spirit, He gives us wisdom to handle complex situations on our job and in our family.

Proverbs 4:11 says, “I guide you in the way of wisdom, and lead you along straight paths.”

He also creates ways where there was no way.

Isaiah 43:20 states, “The wild animals honor Me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

The gun and bullets represent God’s Word & Power - His instruction, His promises, and His ability to help us.

Hebrews 4: 12 describes the power of God’s Word. “For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow”

In the dream, I only needed a few bullets to defeat my enemy. When God is in the midst of our trials, He causes us to do much with little. In the story of David and Goliath, David only needed one stone (and his enemy’s sword) to kill his enemy.
1Samuel 17:49 says, “Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.”

One last point from my 2nd dream --- there was no physical wound or blood when I shot my enemy. There was something different about my gun. It did not kill like other guns do.

2Corinthians10: 4 reads, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”

God gives us the ability to overcome our most difficult trials and tribulations.
> Through studying His Word, He provides guidance.
> Through our calling on Him in prayer, His Power intercedes on our behalf.
> Through our positive words, we can speak life into dead or dying relationships, and we can lift someone who is down.

I leave you with one last scripture:

Isaiah 43:1-2 says, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour.

God is on your side. He is waiting for you to seek Him and His ways!
Read His Word --- it will bring life to yourself and your family!
Study His Word --- it will show you the path to overcoming your circumstances!
Meditate on His Word --- it will bring victory to you all the days of your life!