survey single-parent challenges
single-parent FamilyLife
 
 

There is POWER in Your Words
By Moe Becnel

We often do not realize - or we forget – the IMPACT that our words can have on our life, our family, and other people.  Harsh or abusive words, more than anything else, have destroyed thousands of relationships, including marriages and families.

There are many conflicting ways that we use our speech:
      Positive                                                                        Negative
• We are joyful                                 or                • we complain
• We are honest                           or       • we lie                                                
• We speak God’s Word & promises     or              • we speak doubt, fear and defeat                       
• We lift people up                             or             • we degrade, or put people down           
• We express concern                        or             • we are critical                         
• We encourage others                      or             • we discourage others                           
• We lift a person up                          or              • we slander their name             
• We talk good about others                or              • we gossip (idle chatter)            
•We discuss facts ONLY                    or              • we spread rumors                               
• We speak peace                             or              • we show anger           
• We say God gave victory in last trial  or              • we declare life is hard and stinks           
• We declare God’s deliverance            or              • we say the devil is beating us up
• We say we CAN                              or            • we say we CANNOT

Consider these next thoughts:
Does your speech change around different groups of people? Such as:

  • Around Church, are you friendly, kind, cordial, patient, and concerned?  But around your friends, are you swayed to less wholesome conversation?
  • Do you let co-workers influence you with worldly thinking, bad jokes, and ungodly advice?
  • Is your speech gracious to your spouse and children, or do you tend to put them down or make them the brunt of your jokes?

                 I know many people who like being witty and sarcastic, because they get laughs.  But the definition of SARCASM is to tear flesh like a wolf devours its prey.

We can pray to God with Praise & Worship, thanksgiving, and legitimate prayer requests, but we can then be defeating our own prayers by our negative words and actions.

  • When Moses asked Pharaoh when he wanted the plague of frogs to end, Pharaoh said, “tomorrow.”  So he and the whole nation needlessly spent another night with the frogs. (Exodus 8: 9-10)
  • Doubt, murmuring, and complaining caused the Israelites to spend 40 years in the desert.
  • Caleb & Joshua were the only two of twelve spies who had a good (positive) report about the Promised Land. (Numbers 14:6-8)  They were the only 2 that entered Promised Land. (Num. 14:24)
  • The other ten never entered their Promised Land.
  • We may pray for a troubled teen, but then our harsh words to their misbehavior pushes them further away from us.

 

Key Points about Your Words
A.  Words tell the condition of a person’s heart.
Luke 6:45 states, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”  You can quickly know the condition of another person’s heart by listening to their words.

So, what is the condition of YOUR heart, based on the list above?  Is it positive or negative?

B.  Your words have power – BOTH positive and negative     
      Proverbs 18:21 reads,   The tongue has the power of life and death.

      Proverbs 13:3 says, He who guards his lips, guards his soul; but he who speaks rashly comes to ruin.

      James 1:19 states, Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
 Why “slow to speak”? 
To not let our negative emotions control our words.
To choose our words more carefully.  We hurt our loved ones, not so much by what we say as by how we say it.
To take time to REALIZE the potential consequences of our words before we say them!
To not damage our valuable relationships.

Matthew 12:36-37 Jesus said,  “But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the Day of Judgment for EVERY CARELESS (unguarded/ un-thought-about) WORD they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned.”

“Ouch!” Did that Scripture convict you like it did me?  We must become conscious of the words we speak.

The Power of Confession
Webster’s defines CONFESSION as - to acknowledge as having a certain character or certain claims; to declare belief in.

God’s Instruction about your Speech:
Regarding salvation
Romans 10: 9-10 says, “If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
Matthew 10:32, reads, “Whoever acknowledges me before men I will acknowledge before My Father, but...”

Regarding our adversary, the devil
It is not enough to just believe God’s Word.  We must speak God’s Word over our life to our adversary.  If we do not speak, we do not stop him.
Consider these scriptures about the power of your words:
a. Temptation In Matthew 4: 3-4, Jesus was tempted three times by the devil.  Jesus spoke the Word of God to the devil for each temptation.
            > The presence of Jesus was not enough to run the devil off.
            > It was also not enough that Jesus knew God’s Word.
            > Jesus defeated His adversary by speaking God’s Word.

b. Storms of Life Matthew 8: 26 says, “Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.”
Jesus’ presence in the boat was not enough to calm the sea.  But when He spoke, things changed.

Regarding prayer:
1. God forgives our sins.  1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

2. God grants our requests.  John 14:13-14 reads, “Whenever you pray, whatever you ask for you will receive!”
                                                                      
3. We must ask.  James 4:2 says, “You do not have because you do not ask.”

You MUST become conscious of the words you speak.

As step-parents, we have the opportunity on a daily basis to either be a blessing or a hindrance to our “new” children, and in turn to our spouse.
It is our words that set the tone.

Pray this prayer over yourself: 
Holy Spirit, show me and convict me whenever my words are harming my marriage relationship, hurting my family members, putting someone down, turning to idle gossip, complaining about You or other people, speaking defeat or hopelessness in my life, or canceling my own prayers.
Help me to be slow to speak, and not say hurtful things when I am emotional.
Let all of my words become tender, uplifting, encouraging, and positive.
Change me, Lord, so that I will be a strong positive influence on my marriage and family.
In Jesus’ Mighty Name,   Amen!

“Used with permission by Blending A Family Ministry. Copyright (c) 2009 Blending A Family Ministry. www.blendingafamily.com . All rights reserved.”