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Reach for Recovery
Part 1: HOPE for a Great Life, Marriage, and Family
By Moe and Paige Becnel

Do any of these statements seem familiar to you or one of your new family members?

You had an abusive former spouse;
You find it difficult to completely trust your new spouse;
Negative feelings arise whenever you have to see or speak to your former spouse;
You carry a sense of guilt from having gone through divorce;
You compare your new spouse to your former spouse;
You have carried resentment of others into your new home;
You are easily angered.

      There are remarried spouses and children that are struggling to make their life and family a success. Often, a large part of the struggle is that family members are carrying hurts, failures, disappointments, negative feelings, bitterness, unforgiveness, and/ or bad habits from their past --- into their present.
        Moe & Paige have written, organized, and teach Reach for Recovery, a divorce recovery program at Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, LA. Reach for Recovery is designed to guide divorced people through the emotional pain of a broken relationship, to identify mistakes that we make in relationships, and to teach Godly relationship principles. If you did not attend a divorce recovery program before you remarried, now is your chance to learn and apply some key principles from Reach for Recovery that will help you to make your relationships successful.
        This month we begin with Hope, Part 1 of a series of articles based on Reach for Recovery. Everyone needs hope, especially when situations seem hopeless.

What is HOPE?
Have you ever been in a conversation with a friend who shared a problem, sickness, or need with you, and your comment was, “I hope things work out”, or, “I hope you feel better.” Those statements of hope did not give our friend much to hope for. We often do not understand the real meaning of words that we speak. The comments above sound good, but what they are truly saying is, “I wish you well”, or, “Good luck.”

Webster defines hope as ---

A desire of some good, accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it;
Expectation of something desirable; to desire with expectation
Confidence in a future event
Trust

Hope is NOT a wish. There is a big difference between “wishing” something will change, and “expecting” a change. Do you have an expectation for a great family, or do you have a sense of hopelessness? Has your marriage relationship suffered because of arguments, and you both continue to stand your own ground? Do your family issues seem so big, and have existed for so long that you feel they will not get better?

Hopelessness                                                              Hope
> is an emotional state that can be changed,      > is believing that God loves and cares for me,
> is trusting in your own limited ability,                 > is trusting in God’s supernatural intervention,
> is being overwhelmed by circumstances,          > is knowing that prayer changes people and things,
> is a feeling of isolation from God,                     > is knowing you are God’s very own child,
> is seeing no solution to an issue,                     > is knowing that God has the solution.

There are some great scriptures in the Bible that exemplify man’s hope (expectation) for God’s intervention in their life, as well as God’s promises to intervene on our behalf:

Job 11: 16-18 says, “You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.”

In verse 18, the Hebrew word hope means “the thing that I long for and wait upon.” Job suffered tremendous loss, and probably had scars on his body from the sores he suffered. We are certain that his soul was greatly wounded from the loss of his children, his home, and his prosperity. Job longed for God’s blessings to be restored in his life. In the end, God blessed Job with twice of what he had before his afflictions. (Job 42)

In Romans 5:3-5 Paul wrote, “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
In verses 4 &5, the word hope in the Greek translation means, “to anticipate with pleasure, to expect with confidence.”

Moses knew the afflictions of the people of Israel, and in Psalm 90:15 he prayed this prayer of deliverance, “Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good.”

In Joel 2: 25-27 we read of the prophet Joel delivering a promise from God to His chosen people. The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the stripping locusts, the cutting locusts, the swarming locusts, and the hopping locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.”

Israel had sinned against God by worshipping other Gods, and God punished them for this. Yet, God is also the one who promised to restore to them from their calamity. Perhaps the sins of the divorce have stripped you and your children of many things, but God is always willing to restore when we repent. God loves His creation! God loves you. God loves your new family. God wants to give you back your blessings.

Jeremiah 29: 11 says, “For I know the plans (thoughts) I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.”
God does not think negative, harmful thoughts about you. His thoughts are good - and full of hope (expectation) for you!

You may be feeling that your life, your dreams, and your hopes have been dashed on the rocks. But your life can be great again. God wants to help you develop a great life, marriage and family.

As you move into your future, realize that:

God is a great, loving God! Do not let anyone or any doctrine persuade you otherwise. In fact, persuade yourself to draw close to Him and you will experience immeasurable acceptance!
God forgives completely! He wipes away your sins, your past, your failures and your disappointments.
God STILL has a plan for you! Your past and your failures are not obstacles to God.
It is never too late! Allow God to begin to unfold and reveal His plan for you, your spouse, your marriage and your family.
You have a role to play! You must act. You must position yourself to be and to do what God desires, according to His principles for achieving abundant life. It is then that God’s blessings will flow into your life and family.

God is your hope!
God is your expectation!
God is your confidence!
God is your future!
Allow expectation from God to replace the hopelessness you feel.