> Does that title sound familiar to you? Probably – it comes from the Bible.
> Do you understand the impact of that statement – what it really means?
> What does the word “helper” mean to you?
> Do you properly appreciate the helper that God has brought into your life?
What is a Helper?
Genesis 2:18 states, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
I believe some marriages are not all that they can be because of a poor interpretation of the word “helper.” In the business world, a helper is hired to do menial tasks. He or she is usually unskilled or poorly skilled, and needs training. Thus, they are hired at a low wage and are often termed a “go-for.” Their job is to go for this and go get that. Their job becomes doing what no one else wants to do.
The above description of a helper is not what God had in mind in Genesis 2:18. The word helper in Hebrew is “eber” which means aid. Here is the KEY – Hosea 13:9 says, “I will destroy you, O Israel, because you are against Me, against your helper.”
God uses the same word “eber” in referring to Himself as our helper, as He does when He gave the man a woman as a helper.
We should be honored that God wants to be our helper, and we should respect the helper He brings into our lives.
“I will make a helper suitable for him,” tells me two things:
God saw that I (man) needed help. Now I know that is hard for some of us guys to believe, but who are we to say that GOD is wrong.
If He made someone “suitable” for me, that tells me that they will “compliment” me. NO – not, “You’re the man!” This means that my helper will be strong in areas of my weakness, and I will be strong in areas of her weakness. We will “compliment” or balance each other.
Being A Team
In most team sports, there are important relationships that exist on the field. Though a baseball team has 9 players on the field, the pitcher and catcher share a very close relationship. They communicate with each other before every pitch is thrown. The catcher can sense when the pitcher is out of rhythm, or is getting tired --- often before the pitching coach does.
In football, a quarterback usually has a favorite wide receiver or tight end. They are his go-to guys when a crucial play has to be made, or when the quarterback gets in trouble. They seem to intuitively understand each other, and know each other’s timing when executing plays.
These special relationships on teams are often termed “WINNING COMBINATIONS.” The other team players are vital, but the flawless execution of plays that these winning combinations make will repeatedly put more points on the score board.
I believe God intended husband and wife to become “WINNING COMBINATIONS!”
What do I base that on? Genesis 2: 24 reads, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
When husband & wife are working together as a team, their home is in order, their decisions are wiser, their respect for each other is high, and their marriage is to be envied!
Why is This So Difficult
First, some men may revert to the business world’s idea of a helper, thinking their wife is in their life to take care of the menial tasks. Nothing will frustrate and disrespect a wife more – which will lead to a strained relationship.
God made a wife to be a companion and a partner. When we treat them as such, we honor God’s creation, and we have a sweet coexistence with our partner.
Realize that women are only weaker vessels in their physical body. Their intelligence and spiritual abilities are often equal, and if given opportunities, even better than some men. Don’t be intimidated by this --- use it toward the advantage of your marriage and family.
Second, becoming a winning combination did not happen when you made a vow on your wedding day. Your vow tobecome one was your commitment to work to become one. We all fall short on the commitments we have made in life. If this is you, it is time to re-commit yourself to your spouse.
Third, winning combinations just do not happen by luck, or coincidence, or by “marrying the right person”. It takes effort to get to know the other person, to understand their strengths & weaknesses, and to build your team on their strengths (and ignore the weaknesses). Winning combinations on teams become that through agreeing which plays work best for them, through hours, days, weeks, and months of practice,– rehearsing the same plays over - and over – and over.
How to Unite With Your Wife
Become the Head of Your Home
This means being the Spiritual head, and the head Servant. Remember that Jesus washed His disciple’s feet. He set the example of servanthood for us to follow.
Respect your wife as God’s gift to you.
Proverbs 31:10 (NKJV) says, “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”
See Her value!
See your wife as God’s favored creation. Stop looking at her faults --- see her potential, gifts, talents, and abilities. When I was dating Paige, God reminded her all the time that she was HIS Princess. That made me understand how God valued her --- and I needed to do the same.
See Her Strengths!
Your wife probably has strengths in your weakness. I do not need help in areas of my strengths.
Paige’s strengths compliment my weaknesses. I am not talking about her changing diapers better than me. She is creative, organized, energetic, and sees things differently than I do. Two heads really are better than one when a family is trying to solve problems.
(Also, realize that husbands & wives will butt heads in the areas that they are both strong.)
Make your wife your BEST FRIEND.
Serve your wife – find out what her goals, her dreams, and her desires are. Then help her accomplish them. Help her with chores or errands when she is tired or stressed --- or even when she is not.
Make yourself a great investment!
Change yourself into the person of character that you want your wife & children to be.
You Are a TEAM!
Become a winning combination! – work together; be dedicated to each other.
Read Good Books!
“The Irresistible Husband” by Edwin Louis Cole; “101 Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her” by Gary Smalley; “Good Sex Begins in the Kitchen” by Gary Smalley
NEVER TEAR YOUR BRIDE DOWN!
We are the Church, the Bride of Christ. Since I gave my life to Christ in 1978, I have disappointed God on many occasions. But He has never torn me down. He has convicted me when I was disobedient, but He never condemned me. He has always treated me gently. We need to treat each other the same way. Never put each other down. Save your harsh words for the devil!
If your family needs change, you change first!
“Used with permission by Blending A Family Ministry. Copyright (c) 2009 Blending A Family Ministry. www.blendingafamily.com . All rights reserved.”
